smelly kelly

wish "smelly kelly" would leave my side,
all this hurt kept inside,
13yrs of mental abuse,
and "we were kids" is your excuse.

not sorry you just shrug it off,
thinking everything's fine,
not knowing what you've done to me,
believe me revenge will be mine.

hate all these feelings making me wary!
six years on and you still fkin scare me,
it's different now though...i wont let you see,
i'm better than that now...dont you agree?

head high, shoulders back,
tummy pulled in, on the right track,
eyes off the floor now staring at you,
hard bitch am i, no longer scared of you!

but next is the bit you do not see,
all of this hurt kept inside of me,
i still shake, i still cry, still wish i could die,
coz when you're in a room extra special i try,
to impress you i think, is my main goal,
dont see why i bother...you have no soul!
but still i worry before every sentence,
is this going to make any sense?
will i be laughed at like all those years ago?
if you've been there...you will know.

i've seen them when i walk in a room,
"shhhh...it's her,...you do....remember?"
"we popped her tyres in that lonely september"
yeah...funny that was, i still laugh now!
i said "dad please fix it" and he said "how?"
"with brass buttons? maybe a spit shine?"
I HATE YOU YOU BASTARDS...THAT BIKE WAS MINE!!

fake confidence now is what i use,
to cover up that emotional bruise,
still there from all those years ago,
a head full of worry and a heart full of sorrow.

but smile i will and screw you all,
go find someone else to call,
coz i'm not your verbal punchbag now,
so fuck off or i'll tune you you ignorant cow!!